Contemporary philosophy of mind is beginning to rehabilitate Arthur Schopenhauer as a proto-phenomenologist whose metaphysics of the will—once divested of its ontological commitments—provides thick descriptions of embodied agency, self-structure, and intersubjective resonance. This article validates this thesis through a four-stage naturalized reconstruction: (1) Schopenhauer’s "world-knot" and the unity of body and will are interpreted as phenomenal facets of minimal self-models within the framework of the Free Energy Principle (Friston, 2010). (2) His fragmented theory of the self is situated within Gallagher’s Pattern Theory of Self (2013). (3) His ethics of compassion is framed as a precursor to a Pattern Theory of Compassion. (4) Finally, affective criticality is employed to explain Schopenhauer's diagnosis of pessimism as a form of predictive dysregulation. Methodologically, the paper circumvents the pitfall of superficial analogies by adopting a weak methodological naturalism, utilizing cognitive models as a functional grammar for phenomenal material without reductively truncating the metaphysical deep structure.